понедельник, 15 августа 2011 г.

March, 8th 2010


March, 8th

I can live without eating, drinking, sleeping when my centre leaves to I AM.
Even chakra’s drawing changes fundamentally by moving to I AM.
I don’t know the way this process happens. I ask my body and the highest I Am, turn all possible mechanisms on to move the centre of my perception from Individualized state of ‘I am’ to I Am! Thank you!

17:44

I looked at a picture by level of rainbow flow and felt that my attention was coming unstuck from the surface of body. It is like you stick a sticker or scotch off your body from inside.   
19:24

I’ve drown a picture (creativity is the best way to relax for “I AM” to be Realized by itself)))))) and I felt in every single cell of my body… all we’re looking for, That ‘something’, that will bring us to I AM: music, pictures, people, situations, tragedies, joy… love… 

20:20

I was taken away to Samadhi… can’t help neighing… I said the phrase ‘I’m going to write it down!’ – and burst into such a laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  АААААаh…………
I’ll go and write… - and may go into frenzy for laugh!!!!

воскресенье, 7 августа 2011 г.

7-th day )) march 2010


Snatam Kaur, Guru Singh, Guru Ganesha Singh - I Am

I AM who I AM
That is That
I AM who I AM
Thanks  GOD I AM

I am, Who You are
Looking back
You are, Who  I AM
Can you  Imagine  That?

There  is One  GOD
and  That is the  Fact!!!

Guru Ganesha Singh & Snatam Kaur - Hari Om – album Joy Is Now

March, 7th

11:26

I slept badly at night. All body is aching. Muscles ached. Fall asleep and wake up in tense. Im going to have a bath with salt. All I want is to go into – “I AM” state. I am aware that I need merging and destruction of Ego. That is really stupid  if  me to leave this world by dying that  will be the unconscious action. Shortly, to stuck on  Bliss is a very stupid action!
I wake up and remind me at once that it’s necessary to observe an Individual Ego from the point of “I AM”.

The crisis begins!

23:23

I am being thrown between I AM and Individual state of ‘I am’.
Evidently, it’s for me to conscious and loose touch and move to the center of I AM.
Because I Am is True reality. But Individual state of ‘I am’ – is illusion
As for example a man is sitting in the room and gathering an apple from molecules in space (by power of thought). Here it is almost gathered, pulsing. Here telephone calls and the man shifts his attention to the telephone and the apple disappears at once.

So do Individualized state of ‘I am’. While I am in the centre of this Individualized state of ‘I am’ – I don’t feel I AM.

When I succeed to move the centre to I AM, Individual state of 'I am' will vanish immediately. And I become I AM!!!

It trashes heavily.

To look at Individual state of ‘I am’ as a player on the screen – tears anchors and ego away terribly!!! Right away there appear so many reactions on the glassy surface of the lake… imaginary reactions of ego)  
I was lying and suddenly felt such a condition… that I was in space… where there is no sense of breathing. I AM… why breathing in and out? A sensation appears that, you know, there is no oxygen!
And it passed right away.
“I AM”, helps me to move the centre to I AM. I am aware that Individual state of ‘I am’ is simply an illusion – it exists unless I KEEP my attention on it. I AM, helps me to move the centre of attention to I AM!!!! Because I am  the “I AM”!!!

March, 6th 2010


March, 6th

15:39

I’m trashed))))))He-he))

It was cold at night (at six a.m., when I went to bed). It was impossible to get warm. But I was aware to the way it could be, while I was singing AUM, saturating body with energy of the Source and lifting the Fire up from Within. It’s still not enough strength for the fire from within to warm my body. But I do my best)))

I’m sneezing and having my throat sore.
I dreamed that I was eating something. But there wasn’t any hunger. So I do not eat anything. All’s going right. I hope to take juice away from my diet since 8th day. If it is too early then on 14th day for sure)))
I’m getting stronger in Samadhi experience. It’s easier to feel my body as the Universe body. Thanks to a Star guy’s settings. I’m grateful to him a lot)))
I’m telling to my body not to grow thin. My proportions suit me))) the whole point is to set the fire from within so hard to make the body Mutate but not lose its weight)))))))

A thought struck me that if I can take food from the energy of the Source. It means I can take water from there too. I need only to switch over as it happened to food.
I’ll try)))

19:12

I danced to music and separated I AM from Individualized state of “I am”. It was possibly Impossible!!! More clearly I conscious – self-feel: I Am the Universe, energy… all and everything…
I understood that in time of the first experience “I AM” looked at Individualized state of “I am”. And in this case Individualized state of “I am” is looking at self-feeling “I AM”. I’m trying to understand how to deepen into I AM so much.
 Though it still glitches a good deal)))) First, an hour before sleeping I  am usually returned to individualized state of “I am” and body. And I feel my body tense. And a thought suddenly occurred: God, how does the body still function? All muscles are so pressured that I even feel pain. And then in an hour I am used to this condition. (After a kind of slight stroke my muscles are damaged and I can’t heal them yet)))

Right!!! It’s necessary to look from “I AM” at individualized “I am”… Then experience immediately strikes )) HURAY!!!(I wanted to write: “I thought up” and then understood it was ridiculous. What ‘I think up’ could be? My “I AM” always knew it)))))

21:02

I train myself on the parrot. I clean the Naive’s cage (Nymphicus hollandicus). And HE (my parrot) scares of these actions. And through I AM I touched his consciousness and gave an impulse that all was fine, and with golden shining filled him. It was so incredible. Now I’m sitting and looking at Naive. And touching it from inside I feel: This is my body… This entire world… - is my body… I fill this form with myself… Gosh… there now, it’s Inexpressible!!!)))))))
Though, I’m losing this feeling of  my body and individual Ego’s sensation. I start dropping everything, switching off just in the middle of any actions… which got so few already… because I Am this “I AM” that is ALL existence… and feel it’s necessary for the period of merging with Ego and all vasanas and samscaras’ destruction and burning have gone, then I’ll start to manifest “I AM”  Presence. And so far I grope how to manifest it and Samadhi leads me.
Now when I thank the Universe… I start laughing… ‘Cause it’s Me!! I thank myself…  And such a tenderness and Love arise that it’s impossible to articulate!!!!

Fears ascend and I live them through and then move to “I AM” to burn these imprints down. 
I’m trying to look at my Individualized state of “I am” from the position of I AM – it helps a lot!!!


суббота, 6 августа 2011 г.

March, 5th


Kundalini Osho 

March, 5th

16:03

I have slept all day long, ‘cause my body was icy like don’t know what))) It was impossible to get warm. My feet are still icy now in two pairs of the warmest wool socks)))))
I’m starting to wait for the first crisis. 5 days without food, after all)))
Samadhi moved to the level of feeling energy in everything. Now, it takes me only to start dancing to feel it within. Or, I move the beaming point to the center of the world and feel the world as my body. But still it’s necessary to deepen. I wish to deepen it so, that other samscaras and vasanas will burn down. But the thing that I have stopped being afraid of people and drunk one, completely - helped greatly!! I had tried to work it out for all my life, but failed. And now, for  one moment it has happened and here you are – I am free from fears of these!!

23:15

I went to Les’ workplace. I had much fun there. To play tennis again, it is so cool!!! On my way to Leslav, I deepened Samadhi experience. However it got deepened by itself on the way back home. 

“ I was going to Les”
I was going by bus and looking at people. YES! SAMADHI is astonishing thing!!! I advise it to EVERYBODY!!! Try it!!! 
Now, I switch over to self-feeling of “I AM” state much easier. It cheers me up. Any fear is vanishing!!! If I adjusted myself good, there were no thoughts at all. Just self-feeling of “I AM”!!

So...
People were sitting and so did I. And everybody had as if a holographic sphere in front of their faces coming out of their heads. This was individualized state of “I AM” as it is. Then I understood that this Individualized state of “I AM” is directed neither outside nor inside but to nonexistent space (past-future). Gosh… to read and understand it by brain is one thing, but quite different is to self-feel it. (I understood it already, when I tried to sense some wise phrases by body with Empathy) Now any thoughts in head about self-feeling of “I AM” are  phrases from different wise treatises. Anyway, it makes me roar. It`s easy to say it, but gives no idea for how to self-feel It by yourself! (Zen says to relax, become natural and be Here and Now.  I think this is the only condition for “everything” to  happen by itself).

So, I self-felt one thing, formed it, not so clear as I felt - deepened, and the phrase was built by itself.
The individualized state of “I AM” considers itself the character in which “I AM” plays.

The character doesn’t exist. As the shadow on the wall is just the reflection of a real hand. 
I wrote down this insight and understood that I had just said exactly the same, that had been said before me in hundreds of treatises. Nothing new!!! But for me it became a part of Life and feeling myself as I Am.
It`s like a little child is shown a farfetched bear or cat with a glove. The glove is an Individualized state of “I AM” that considers itself as a Bear or a cat, a human being etc… but in fact the Hand rules (I Am).

At Les’s place we played tennis, gave hugs and drank a hundred percent juice from concentrate)) he-he)))
No hunger))))

On the way home in a taxi with a player in my ears Samadhi sharply deepened in a new kind for me. And I realized and felt – Body and feelings – are the easiest and straightest way to Liberation! (Of course words are insignificant… experience – is everything!!)

This actually is an incomparable pleasure and bliss. Neither orgasm (I mean energetic orgasm, tantric for those who get it easier this way), nor joy, nor feel of happiness… well daaamn, I don’t know… well nothing compares with this feeling. And I realize, it is just the beginning!!! This is so… so… impossible for me to transfer it into words.

Every part of you flames with bright light.
You – are the world without boundaries and limits.
You are Me, there is nothing bigger beyond all things.

You are Me, there is nothing to be changed.
You – are milliards of the Sunlights.
I  am - the Sunlights’ nuclear.

The real fool,
Who divides and integrates all to One!
There are neither you, nor world nor me.
I AM Everything within and  beyond time!

I wish I could express it with words… but even poetry is off the way to show this feeling. And that is… ahrrr… I wish to blow up with milliards of sunlight spots  to everybody, who will read it, for their chance to feel this “I AM” state within!  

Feelings and body – are the easiest and simplest way to Liberation.
It’s impossible to feel the Energy in space and matter by thoughts or emotions … but Feelings!!!
 And feelings are possible while there is the Body. Body – is a key to all.   Now I understand those gurus who says: Birth is a key to Liberation!
Music… that is through what I will express what I feel... what is “I AM”.  Music, poems, pictures!!! A new stage of.. Being!!!!
Although, there is nothing to do being in this state. Exactly NOTHING. To be is already ALL that can be done!!!
I can express  it with these phrases:

There is no greater predestination then to Be “I AM”.
There is nothing but “I AM”.
I am All existence!

All of these stuff I have experienced today!!! It’s a splendid world!!! I Am this WORLD!!!
All will go ruin and collapse… but I Am Everything and beyond time!! I – Am All that Is!  

 P.S.
When I am next to people, like magnet, I am drawn to the Source inside Me! And people’s magnets start to drive to the Source within them. And if I open up and get to the very Source, they get to the blocks that cover the Source from them. That’s why since childhood the Power within my body has called others’ all Shit to come out. I had to live through a lot for that. But now I sharply see with Leslav how it works!